Healthy Living

When Your Feelings Get Hurt

My feelings were recently hurt.

If I’m being honest, it didn’t bring out the best in me. I’d like to say I calmly and rationally recognized what happened and then maturely let it go.

But, I didn’t.

Instead, I got upset.

While I knew why I was upset, I allowed my feelings of hurt to turn to anger. Instead of looking at the big picture and letting it go, I allowed my feelings to fester.

I share this with you, as a reminder to you that we’re all human. We’re all learning and doing the best we can. I’m not perfect, you aren’t perfect, and we don’t have to be.

After I calmed down, and let the initial hurt dissipate, I was reminded of a few things I want to share with you:

You’re in control of your emotions

We’re each in charge of how we act and react. I allowed myself to focus on feelings of hurt. But, the truth is, other people aren’t responsible for my feelings. We are each in control of our actions, and I don’t have anyone to blame for my meltdown but me. I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. Even though I was hurt, I could have shrugged it off and moved on with my day. Easier said than done, but possible.

Learn instead of judge.

I decided I wouldn’t judge myself for my reaction. Instead, I chose to focus on seeing the big picture and learning the lesson. And, there’s a big lesson to be learned. My value and

Even when your feelings get hurt, you’re in charge of your emotions,

self esteem doesn’t come from other people’s opinions of me or their acceptance of me. And, the same holds true for you. Your value and your worth is not based on what other people think about you. It’s based on what you think of yourself. Another person can’t hurt your feelings unless you give them this power.

Recognize and release. 

When your feelings are hurt, recognize it for what it is, and then let it go. Release the feelings the experience might stir up, and move on. Put it behind you. Learn from it, don’t hold a grudge, and practice forgiveness. When you hold on to negative feelings, you’re just hurting yourself.  Instead, focus your energy on being your best self, on being around people who make you feel good about yourself and who love and care about you, unconditionally.

Our life is determined by how we respond to our circumstances.

How we choose to respond to whatever it is that happens to us impacts our life experience. It wasn’t the fact that my feelings were hurt, but rather how I responded, and the story I told myself, that actually got in the way of my day. I could have gone for a long walk, mediated, or even grabbed my journal to get my feelings out. These would have been positive ways I could have helped myself feel better.

This experience was a good lesson for me, and I hope for you. We’ll never be able to control other people. However, we can absolutely impact, positively or negatively,  how we react to whatever situation and circumstance comes our way.

Remember, every experience is an opportunity to learn.

Find meaning each day,

Dara

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