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Getting Through Mother’s Day If Your Mom Passed Away

I love any excuse to have a party and celebrate a special occasion. Mother’s Day is Sunday. A time to honor and celebrate your Mother.

While it is a great day and a wonderful opportunity to make your Mom feel special, it can be a hard day if your Mom has passed away. It’s a reminder of the loss you feel and carry with you everyday.
This is the eighteenth year I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day without my Mom.
Time does help, and it gets easier as the years pass by, but it doesn’t change the fact that she isn’t here. The pain and sadness feel more heightened on days like Mother’s day and remind me of what I lost. What she lost.

If you’re experiencing this, and will be facing Mother’s Day without your Mom, I know it can be hard. I know it can feel especially sad. I know there’s nothing I can say to make your Mom come back.

What I can do, is give you some tips that have helped me over the years.  I hope this will assist you in making Mother’s Day less about your loss, and more about your memories.

Do Something She Loved

Was there something your Mom especially enjoyed doing? It doesn’t matter what it was, try to come up with something she adored and go and do it yourself. If she loved gardening, buy some plants and plant them in your yard in her memory. Make one of her favorite recipes if baking was her thing.  If she liked to hike, go take a long walk and think about her. Doing something your Mom relished doing is a way for you to bring her into your day.

Write Her A Card

Have you ever gone past the Mother’s Day cards and wished you could buy one for your Mom? I have, and I suspect many of you have also. It’s normal. You don’t necessarily have to buy a card, but get a piece of paper and write a card to your Mom. Tell her everything you wish you could tell her. Write about your life. Share what you would share. It might make you feel a little sad, but it will also make you feel good. Don’t hold back. Tell her everything you want her to know. You can keep the card or throw it away. Once I wrote my Mom a long letter, put it into a bottle, and tossed it into the ocean. Don’t judge. It made me feel better, and that was the point.

Visit Her

You can always go to the cemetery or place where her remains were put to rest, and visit her. This can be comforting, and help you feel closer to her. Just sitting by her stone and talking can help you feel like you’re doing something with her. Take flowers, a special rock, or something you want to leave there as a way to mark your visit.

Go Easy On Yourself

Whatever you decide to do, go easy on yourself. It’s a hard day for those of us who have lost our Mom. It’s normal to feel a little sad. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you, and who understand how hard the day is for you. Whatever you do, don’t feel badly about feeling a little sad and missing your Mom. Of course you’re going to miss her on Mother’s Day.

I’ve learned to live in this world without my Mom.

Not by choice, but by necessity. I know she would want this for me: to make the most of my life, be a good person, enjoy my family and make the world a better place. And, I try to do that everyday. For me. For her.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my Mom. I will always miss her. But, I know she is forever with me, wrapping me in her love, whispering advice and watching over me. I hope my daughters will feel the same from me one day, when I’m not here.
If you’re blessed to either be a Mom, still have your Mom in your life, or both, don’t take it for granted. Enjoy Mother’s Day with your family, celebrate together, and know how blessed you truly are.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Find meaning each day,

Dara

 

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