grief-2-min 2

Missing Your Mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a beautiful time to honor and celebrate your Mother.

While it is a wonderful opportunity to make your Mom feel special, it can be a hard day if your Mom has passed away. It’s a reminder of the loss you feel and carry with you everyday.
This is the twentieth year I will celebrate Mother’s Day without my Mom. Time does help, but days like Mother’s Day can heighten feelings of sadness and intensity feelings of grief. 

If you’re facing Mother’s Day without your Mom, here are some tips that have helped me over the years:

Do Something She Loved

Was there something your Mom especially enjoyed doing? Try to come up with something she adored and go and do it yourself. If she loved gardening, buy some plants and plant them in your yard in her memory. Make one of her favorite recipes if baking was her thing.  If she liked to hike, go take a long walk and think about her. Doing something your Mom relished doing is a way for you to bring her into your day.

Write Her A Card

Have you ever gone past the Mother’s Day cards and wished you could buy one for your Mom? I have, and I suspect many of you have also. This year, consider writing your Mom a letter. You don’t necessarily have to buy a card, but get a piece of paper and write a card to your Mom. Tell her everything you wish you could tell her. Write about your life. Share what you would share. It might make you feel a little sad, but it will also make you feel good. Don’t hold back. Tell her everything you want her to know. You can keep the card or throw it away. Once I wrote my Mom a long letter, put it into a bottle, and tossed it into the ocean. Don’t judge. It made me feel better, and that was the point.

Visit Her

You can always go to the cemetery or place where her remains were put to rest, and visit her. This can be comforting, and help you feel closer to her. Just sitting by her stone and talking can help you feel like you’re doing something with her. Take flowers, a special rock, or something you want to leave there as a way to mark your visit.

Go Easy On Yourself

Whatever you decide to do, go easy on yourself. It’s a hard day for those of us who have lost our Moms. Remember, it’s normal to feel a little sad. Instead of focusing on your loss, try to remember how blessed you were to have your Mom, and think about all the good times you shared with her. When I feel sad, shifting my thoughts to a place of gratitude always helps me feel better. 

I’ve learned to live in this world without my Mom. Not by choice, but by necessity. I know she would want this for me: to make the most of my life, be a good person, enjoy my family, and do my best to make the world a better place. And, I try to do this everyday.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my Mom, and I will always miss her. But, I know she is forever with me, wrapping me in her love, whispering advice and watching over me.