I have a friend who’s been married for over twenty years. Ever since her wedding night, she and her husband have scheduled a weekly sex night. They knew that Friday evening, regardless of what they had going on in their lives, was going to be their night to go to Funky Town.
When she first shared this with me, I have to admit, I thought it was ridiculous. Who needs to schedule sex? Shouldn’t it be something that’s actually NOT scheduled. Something that happens when we’re in the mood, when the moment is right? Isn’t spontaneity part of the fun?
“Are you limited to just that evening?” I asked. I was intrigued.
“If we can fit it in at other times during the week,” she explained, “that’s great. But, if we can’t, we always know we have Friday night.”
Maybe she knew something I didn’t know: life gets in the way, even when people have good intentions.
That got me thinking, should Jon and I start scheduling sex? Should we pick a weekly date for a”sex night?” When I mentioned this to Jon, while working on this post, he didn’t even blink an eye.
“I’m thinking we should start having a weekly “sex night,” I said to him.
“Sure,” he quickly answered, “How about Friday nights?” Truth be told, I didn’t tell him I was writing this, and I’m sure he won’t be happy about it. But, worst case scenario, we can make up on Friday night. I’m not too worried.
Here are 5 reasons you should consider scheduling a weekly sex night:
- It’s something good to look forward to. If you’re having a hard day, and it’s your “sex night,” you can look forward to the evening. Sometimes the anticipation of doing something fun is just what you need to get you through a hard day.
- It prevents a “dry spell” in the sex department. I’m pretty sure my friend and her husband have stuck to this their entire marriage. It’s an expectation they’ve always had. If one of them is tired or isn’t in the mood, they can simple say, “Let’s wait until Friday.” However, if they aren’t in the mood on Friday night, it doesn’t matter. Game on. They’ve made the commitment to have sex at least once a week.
- Sometimes good intentions aren’t enough. We schedule dentist appointments and teacher conferences, why shouldn’t we schedule sex? I know if I have an appointment on my calendar, I’m very likely to do it. Same would probably hold true with sex.
- Life gets in the way. We’re all juggling a lot of responsibilities that can throw us off our game. The kids have homework, the kids need something, the kids are still awake. Kids seem to be a major distraction in the “sex” category. When I asked my friend about this, she just said, “We tell our kids we’re going to bed, and they’ve never seemed to notice.”
- Look at the numbers. If I added up all the times my husband and I have had sex, and then look at her numbers, she might very well be ahead. While I can’t say for sure, and I’m not one to count, overtime, she might just shine in this department. Wouldn’t we all want to shine in this department?
I never thought we’d actually start scheduling sex, but I’m game. It certainty can’t hurt anything.
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