The Best Sex I Never Had

A very strange thing happened last night. It caused me to feel off balanced and a little lost. I openly admit, I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t been is this situation in such a long time, I was momentarily overtaken with extreme confusion. I was befuddled. Perplexed. Thrown off my game.

I know you’re dying to find out what I’m talking about.

Are you ready for it?

My kids both spent the night out.

Are you catching this?

Jon and I were home, alone, without our kids.

There's nothing like a great night of sleep.

There’s nothing like a great night of sleep.

It was just us, in our house, alone.

The options were endless.

We could have paraded around the house naked, had mind blowing sex until the early morning or partied like we were in college. We could have trashed the place, invited friends over or watched “R” rated movies.

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We didn’t do any of those things.

And, I refuse to feel guilty about it.

Who cares if we were in bed by 9:00 PM, enjoyed getting caught up on all of our TV shows and read until we fell asleep. I was wearing my comfy PJ’s, wool socks and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in bed.

Life was good. So very good.

I didn’t have to do anything for anybody. No one was yelling my name or asking me to help them find something. I didn’t have to make anyone a snack, solve a problem or answer any questions. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore being with my kids and spending time with them. But, there’s nothing wrong with a little break every now and then.

Are we lame and pitiful? Did we miss an opportunity? Would you have done things a little differently?

Maybe, but please don’t judge.

It was the best sex we never had…

There’s nothing more wonderful than getting into bed, knowing you don’t have anything to do or anyone to take care of. Getting into bed and just doing what you want. Which was nothing. Here’s the reality: we can have sex any time. But perfect, uninterrupted relaxation and sleep… well, that’s an entirely different story. Don’t you worry, I have a clear understanding of what my priorities are.

Some might think we ruined a perfectly great opportunity. But not us.

We woke up rested, relaxed and rejuvenated. If you have an opportunity to have a night or two alone with your significant other, without your kids, I encourage you to take it. Seize the opportunity. Hang on tightly with both hands. It’s important for every relationship to have time alone. Life can get challenging when you have kids. Try your best to carve out a little couple time every now and then. You’ll be glad you did. Call a relative, beg your friends to help or hire a sitter you trust. Do whatever you need to do to arrange time alone with your partner.

About the morning… well, that’s an entirely different story and not information I’m comfortable sharing. I never kiss and tell and I know you understand.

Finding meaning each day,


If you enjoyed this post, check out:

Here’s my most recent Huffington Post article, Letting Go Can Be Hard


  1. Margaret on May 4, 2015 at 10:59 am

    LOVE this post!! So real. I love real. Love the whole blog–cant’ wait to read all of your articles! <3

    • Dara Kurtz on May 4, 2015 at 11:40 am

      Thank you SO much! You know how much that means to me!

      • Ilana on August 2, 2016 at 5:20 am

        Thanks. I live
        alone it not consern my life behing with childrens or husband. Yet this shows me that my life is going great. I never missed up those apportunities to feel good with sex partners. My dougther is 27 years old she lives with her partner almost tree years. Only lately in this years i feel free to be myself and enjoy just behing not do and be bussy any time.. Just be with me. Thanks again nice telling.

        • Dara Kurtz on August 3, 2016 at 10:55 am

          Your life is going great! Don’t worry about what other people do, enjoy being yourself!

  2. Vicki Gironda on May 5, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    This is so real for so many of us. Thank you for making me just accept that sometimes nothingis necessary!

    • Dara Kurtz on May 5, 2015 at 6:15 pm

      Thank you! I’m all about being REAL!

  3. Margaret on May 5, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    That’s all we have isn’t it Dara, is real, just being real and present!

  4. Anonymous on August 3, 2015 at 7:57 am

    • Dara Kurtz on August 3, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read! And yes, doing nothing is absolutely total bliss. I highly recommend making time to do nothing often…it’s definitely time well spent.

  5. Jess Brown on May 18, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Hi Dara,

    I LOVED this post!! I don’t have kids and I honestly don’t know what I’d do from day-to-day without my “no responsibility” me time! I know to parents this must be an absolute luxury!

    I guess I kind of take it for granted and this post was a great reminder to appreciate it more. I think what you and your husband did with your evening sounds totally fun! Good for you!!

    You have a great blog here and you’re a great writer! I’ll definitely be stopping back! 😉

    • Dara Kurtz on May 19, 2016 at 9:20 am

      Thanks for reading, and for following my Crazy Perfect Life!

  6. Wendy merron on August 2, 2016 at 5:01 am

    Awesome article! Real advice from a real mom!! Looking forward to reading more from you!

    • Dara Kurtz on August 3, 2016 at 10:55 am

      Thank you for reading and for your support!

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