How many times in a day do you find yourself using the word “should?” If you’re like most people, maybe more often than you would like.

There were times in my life when it felt like the word “should,” and all it represented, followed me around like my shadow. It came and went throughout my day, seeping into my happiness and stealing pieces of joy when I wasn’t looking. The word “should” often nagged me when I didn’t want it to be there. When I wasn’t paying attention, it showed up like an unwelcome guest. Often, I felt obligated to make decisions based on what was expected of me, instead of what I wanted to do.

But, I’m done with that. I’m done living my life based on what I should or should not do.

Seriously.

The word should doesn’t have a place in my life anymore. Living to please other people isn’t my primary goal. When a “should” does try to enter into my life, not only am I good at recognizing it, I’m willing to do something about it.

Obviously, life is filled with responsibilities and there are many things we do in our lives out of necessity. Work, driving carpool, paying bills. I’m not referring to these types of things. Ditching your responsibilities or slacking off in your life is definitely not what I’m suggesting.

I’m talking about the little “shoulds” that seem to get in the way of life sometimes… I’m tired and I don’t want to go to the meeting, but I should. I don’t feel like going to the party, but I should. Instead of taking an afternoon to spend time alone, I should clean my house.

It isn’t hard to come up with things we “should” do. I’m guessing if you thought about it, you could probably come up with a few scenarios you experienced just this week.

Guilt can be blamed for much of what drives us to move forward with things we don’t want to do. Fear can also be a culprit. The fear of judgement associated with not doing whatever it is we think is expected of us.

Instead of listening to you heart, you listen to the voice inside your head that drives you to push forward and please other people.

Think of all the time and energy we spend doing things we “should” do.

The next time you find yourself doing something because you think it’s what is expected of you, and it isn’t something you truly want to do or have to do, rethink your decision to do it.

Ask yourself these questions:

What would happen if I didn’t do it?

Would it truly matter?

What would the consequences be?

If you can live with the consequences, I strongly suggest you think about giving yourself a break.

Start letting go of a few of the “shoulds” in your life.

Give yourself permission. You might find you have more time to do what you actually want to do. How great would that be?

By the way, if my kids happen to be reading this, you still have to do whatever I tell you to do…

Find meaning each day,

Dara