Do you ever feel guilty about saying “no?”

It might be saying no to serving on a committee, donating money to a charity or even declining an invitation to a party. For a lot of people, it doesn’t matter what it is. The actual act of saying no can be difficult and challenging and cause them anxiety. They feel guilty about letting someone down.

I have a friend who despises turning someone down so much she often finds herself serving in leadership positions that she doesn’t want to do. “It’s a good cause,” I’ve heard her say many times, “It won’t really take that much time.” When she says this she usually shrugs her shoulders and I can tell she feels defeated. Even though it is a good cause or it won’t take up a lot of time, that isn’t the point. My friend finds herself agreeing to things she doesn’t want to do because she doesn’t want to say “no.”

It can be especially hard to say “no” to something you believe in and want to support.

You might really want to contribute to an organization and not have the money to give or you might truly want to go to the party but you have a conflict. Saying “no” doesn’t mean you don’t think it’s important. It just means, for whatever reason, you decided you needed to decline. Life is about making choices and you have to make the right choices for yourself.

It’s been almost three years since I went through breast cancer and I’ve noticed my view of time, and the way I spend my time, has significantly changed since my experience.

Time is truly our most precious commodity.

You can’t buy more time. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, we all get the same twenty-four hours in a day.

After my experience, I am extremely guarded with my time. One could argue I’m even stingy with it. Before breast cancer,  I found saying “no” uncomfortable and sometimes agreed to things because of guilt. Fortunately, I don’t feel this way anymore.

I say “no” to many things I’m asked to do, not because I don’t value these things, but because I want to make sure I have time to do what I want to do.

You’re never going to please everyone and there will always be people who think you should or shouldn’t do something.

What these people think doesn’t really matter.

You have to be true to your heart. You have to listen to the voice inside your head that knows when you have too much on your plate. You have to be a little selfish with your time and spend it intentionally.

Use your time wisely.

Remember, when it’s gone, it’s gone. When you say “no” to something you don’t really want to do, an amazing thing happens. You find you have more time to fill your life with what truly matters to you. You get to follow your agenda, not what someone else decides should be your agenda.

Consider this a little reminder not to feel guilty about saying “no.” Life is full of possibilities and you want to make sure you have time to say “yes” to what truly matters to you.

Find meaning each day,

Dara

Check out my recent post, My Life Isn’t Perfect