I Miss My Mom
I Miss my Mom.
Just four little words that come together to form a sentence. There’s no possible way these four words can begin to describe the incredible pain and emptiness I’ve carried with me since my Mom passed away, almost sixteen years ago.
I haven’t seen her in sixteen years.
I haven’t hugged her, heard her laugh, or talked to her in sixteen years.
While it seems like a long time when I think about the actual number of years, in some ways, her death still feels raw. Like it happened just yesterday.
A lot has happened in these years: I’ve had two beautiful daughters, my brother got married and had a family of his own. Jobs have been changed, diplomas earned, promotions received.
All without our Mom.
My first Mother’s Day as a mom was also my first without my mom. A strange twist of fate, that has made Mother’s Day about the love my family has for me, instead of focusing on the loss.
A tremendous blessing.
They say time heals. I don’t know who these people are. But what I do know for sure, is that I’ve learned to live in this world without her. Not by choice, but by necessity.I know she would want this for me: to make the most of my life, be a good person, enjoy my family, and make the world a better place. And I try to do that everyday. For me. For her.
I’ve been blessed to have the love of a Step Mother and Mother-In-Law. And while they can’t replace my Mom, nor do they try, their unconditional love feeds my soul. My relationships with each of them are built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. They never asked to have me as their “daughter,” but because of life circumstances, I came to them: a daughter broken and sad, made whole by their love. And I know my Mom would want this for me.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my Mom. I will always miss her. But I know she is forever with me: wrapping me in her love, whispering advice, and watching over me. I hope my daughters will feel the same from me one day, when I’m not here.
The love of a mother is irreplaceable, and doesn’t die, even when she does. I feel my Mom’s presence always, and it gives me the strength I need to help me make the most of my beautiful life: a life I know she would be proud of me for having.
If you’re blessed to either be a Mom, still have your Mom in your life, or both, don’t take it for granted. Shower the people who mean the most to you with love, everyday, and know how fortunate you are.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Find meaning every day,
Dara
12 Comments
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Beautiful tribute to your Mom, little Mama!
Thank you! Have a great day!
Beautiful ~ Wishing you a peaceful Mother’s Day Dara. Thank you for sharing this today.
Thank You! Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Amen my friend. Love to you on this day. I will always hold close the time you spent with me after my mom died. Good to have friends in this no mom club of ours.
Not a club anyone wants to be in, but glad to have friends like you to make it easier!
Great post on this special day. I know what you mean about time heals. My father died 12 years ago and the pain is still there. Maybe a little duller but present. Enjoy your beautiful family on Mother’s Day!
Bob
Yes, a little duller, but present. Cherish your memories, and I hope they bring you peace.
Loved this post. As a mother who has lost a mother Mother’s Day is always bittersweet. Hugs to you.
I hope you found peace in my message that you’re not alone
Dara,
It’s wonderful to see you so healthy (I am a 2005 breast cancer survivor) as well as to see you with such a beautiful family. Though we haven’t corresponded, I have often thought of you.
Your mom was such a dear and loving friend of mine, with a heart that included so many in her circle, and a laugh that I can still hear! I miss her soooo often. It’s a joy to see that you included her in such a special way on your blog.
I had no idea you had BC, and am glad you’re doing well also! Thanks so much for reading… I know how much you meant to my mom. I hope you and your family are doing well.