You Can’t Win If You Don’t Play

I almost crushed my daughter’s dream. In my quest to protect her, I almost shut it down before she even had a chance to achieve it.

I’m a dream killer, or an almost dream killer, and I didn’t even know it.

That is, until now.

Last year, Zoe ran for Treasurer of the SGA at school, and lost. This year, she ran again, and lost again. She knew it was a long shot, since she was just a Freshman, but she wanted to try. Was excited to try.

Then she announced she was running for Treasurer of her class.

I had to give her credit. The girls got guts.

I, like most parents, don’t like to see my kids get hurt. I fully recognize things aren’t always going to go their way, but when they hurt, I hurt. And of course, I try to do what I can to help ease their pain. Hey, what can I say? I’m human.

So, when she announced to us that she was going to try for the third time, and run for Treasurer of her class, I have to admit, I was worried.

Very worried.

cloudI didn’t want to point out the obvious, but recently, this Treasurer thing hadn’t gone too well, and I didn’t want her to take another hit.

I didn’t want her self esteem to take another hit. She’s a teenage girl, after all. How many times can she be knocked down?

I actually asked Jon, in the privacy of our bedroom, of course, if he thought we should persuasively encourage her to put her time and energy into something else. Hey, this is my daughter we’re talking about.

But he didn’t agree, and thank goodness, for once, I listened.

Recently, Zoe won the position of Treasurer of her class. The smile she had on her face when she came home, the pride and joy she felt, is something I’ll never forget. It meant more to her than anything she’s ever won before, because of the losses she’s experienced. She wanted it so badly, she was willing to risk losing for a third time. She didn’t let the fear of defeat prevent her from trying.

The losses made the win that much sweeter.

It’s a good lesson for all of us, especially me. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, move out of your comfort zone, and take chances. You can’t win if you never try. If there’s something you want to do, and fear of failure is holding you back, push through the fear, and do it anyway.

Today. Right now.

Thank you, Zoe, for reminding me of this.

I can’t protect my kids from getting hurt, but I can protect them from getting hurt by me.

Find meaning each day,

Dara

3 Comments

  1. Vicki on May 11, 2015 at 9:40 am

    CONGRATULATIONS ZOE!!



  2. Tina DeGuzman on May 11, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    We love to protect our kids. They always surprise me with their resilience. I am teaching myself this all over too. Great read Dara!



    • Dara Kurtz on May 12, 2015 at 8:40 am

      Tina, you’re doing great! Keep on doing what your doing.