Does Change Scare You?


Changes are an inevitable part of life and can cause us to feel anxious and unsettled. Some changes are planned while others are unexpected. Either way, being hit with something new can be a challenge to deal with.

That’s the thing about life, it never stays constant.

We have to be flexible. We have to be resilient. We have to talk ourselves through whatever life tosses our way.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend who retired last month. She was telling me how lost she’s been feeling. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said, “I wake up in the morning and don’t have a place to go. I worked for over thirty years, now my kids are all grown and I don’t have anything to do.”

Change is a normal part of life.

Change is a normal part of life.

When she was raising her kids and working, she had a purpose. She had a structured schedule, knew where she was going and probably wanted more free time. Now that she has complete freedom and time, it’s scary.  She feels disoriented. Lost. She wakes up in the morning and doesn’t know what to do with her day.


She has to give herself time to figure it out. Time to find her new purpose. Time to create a life that brings her meaning.

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“No one is expecting anything from me,” she said, “and it’s the strangest feeling. I could stay in bed all day and no one would care.”

“Be patient,” I told her, “I know you will figure it out.”

Everyone deals with change in different ways. Some people love change, other people aren’t fazed by it and then there are those who are completely rocked by it.

Anytime we have a change, it can bring about a feeling of uneasiness and anxiety. Change, even if we’re happy about it, can cause us to feel a little unsettled.

It’s normal to feel this way.

If you’re experiencing a change, be patient with yourself and give yourself the grace to figure it out. You don’t have to have all the answers immediately. Let yourself feel scared and vulnerable and then push through until you find your peace.

Trust yourself.

If you’re going through a life change, like my friend who felt unsettled and completely off balance when she didn’t know what to do with her day, remind yourself this is normal. Don’t be too hard on yourself or judge yourself for feeling disoriented. Instead, help yourself figure it out. Seek help from others, be willing to ask for assistance if you need it and focus on self care. Nurture yourself. Treat yourself with an extra dose of kindness.

Like most things in life, it’s all how you look at it. Change can be exciting, if you allow yourself to find the good in whatever situation you’re dealing with.  Sometimes, the Universe sends us changes in the form of challenges. Believe in yourself and have faith that, in time, you’ll figure it out.

Eventually, I know you will.

Find meaning each day,


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