This past weekend the calendar went from April to May. But it wasn’t just another month for me. This year, as I suspect every May will be for the rest of my life, I remember. And I remember it well.

Perhaps, it’s because this is the first time the calendar has gone full circle. And while  I probably remember it more today than I will in the future, I know I will never forget. Maybe the details will fade overtime, but it will always be there, and to be honest, I don’t want to forget.

What a difference a year makes.

Last year at this time, I was preparing to begin my “extra protection” chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer. The plan included a total of eight rounds of chemo that would be done every other week.  This seemed like a huge number, felt impossible, and I dreaded it. Eight might not be a big number, and I know there are many people who have to do a lot more than eight rounds, but at the time, it felt like a huge mountain was in front of me.

A mountain I didn’t want to climb.

I was scared.

Really scared.

Life was a blur, and I tried  to hold it together: for my kids, my family, myself.

I didn’t know what to expect, and after going over a list of side effects that would make anyone want to stand up and scream, “Are you kidding me?” I did it.

I didn’t really have a choice.

I always feared I would get breast cancer, and always knew if that day came, I would be as aggressive as possible. I remember walking into the chemotherapy room, and not knowing what to expect. Most of us drive by a hospital and don’t give it any thought. We don’t think about the people who are actually in the hospital, what they’re facing, going through, and dealing with.

There’s not a lot that separates us from being on the outside of a hospital versus being a patient in the hospital.

It’s really just luck. Good old-fashion luck.

And to be honest, I never gave it any thought.

Until last year.

Sitting in the chemo room, meeting brave and courageous people who go to battle everyday, changes you. And for the better. It is a beautiful place, filled with positive strong people, who face real problems everyday.

And do so with a smile on their faces.

The next time you pass by a hospital, say a little prayer for the people inside. And don’t ever, take for granted the gift you have of being someone on the outside, with the freedom to just drive by.

Finding meaning every day,

Dara