Fine. I don’t like the word “fine.” It seems impersonal, dull, and quite honestly, a little flat. It seems like a word you use when you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but feel expected to pay them a compliment. It reminds me of using the word “nice.”

What is it with four letter words?

It’s like when someone asks me, “What did you think him?” And instead of saying I thought he was an ugly jerk who was completely arrogant, I might say, “He was nice,” because I don’t feel like I can be honest. I think these politically correct little “white lies” are occasionally OK. And absolutely necessary to keep peace. And friends.

Jon and I have been married for over twenty years. And for over twenty years, whenever I ask him something, he usually responds with the word “fine.”

This has been an on going source of conflict for us.

Me: How does my hair look?
Jon: Fine.

Me: Does this dress make me look fat?
Jon: No. You look fine.

Me: What did you think of the dinner I made?
Jon: It tasted fine.

It is NOT FINE to say that everything is fine. My hair can look great, too curly, or a mess. The dress can look good, too tight, or make me look fat. The dinner I cooked can be delicious, horrible, or taste fabulous.

But all these things can’t be FINE.

Whenever he tells me something is fine, I always ask him to please not use that word. To be more descriptive. To let me know how he’s really feeling. But instead, he just shakes his head, and says, “It really is JUST FINE.”

When I asked him if he uses the word “fine” because he’s afraid to tell me the truth, he shakes his head in disgust and rolls his eyes. “It’s just the word I use, Dara,” He says, “And it’s not a big deal.”

He’s an attorney. He eloquently uses words all day long. Then dear Lord, why can’t he use more words with me?

To my male readers, remember this the next time your wife or girlfriend asks you a question. You might consider answering her with real words.

And to all the other women out there who know exactly what I’m talking about, I guess I should be happy that the four letter word my husband chooses to use is ONLY the word fine. Although his using that word sometimes makes me want to use some four letter words of my own.  I assure you, they aren’t as “nice” as the word “fine.”

Find meaning each day,

Dara