Do you have unrealistic expectations when it comes to what you want from the people you love?
Do you take them for granted and have certain standards that are virtually impossible for them to live up to? It’s easy to do. We have a picture in our heads of the way we think things should go. Any deviation from this can cause us to feel disappointed and disenchanted. We stop appreciating our loved ones, and all the nice things they do for us, and instead take them for granted.
It goes both ways. You might perceive what you do for the people in your life goes unnoticed. Perhaps you feel unappreciated. Never a good feeling.
At a grocery store the other day, I was shopping and heard a couple arguing with one another. The gentleman said to the woman, presumably his wife, “It doesn’t matter what I do for you, nothing is ever enough. I can’t do anything right.”
“That’s not true,” she said, “Why would you say that?”
“Because,” the man answered, “The only time you ever say anything to me is when you don’t like what I’m doing. I quit, I’m done trying.”
They walked out of the store, leaving their cart filled with groceries and were both clearly annoyed with one another.
It was a good reminder to me. It’s easy to forget to let our loved ones know how grateful we are for all they do for us.
Don’t forget to say “thank you” to the people in your life. Don’t forget to make sure they know how happy you are because of the nice things they do for you. Everyone likes to hear positive and validating words, to feel appreciated, and this includes the people who love you.
It feels good when someone notices what you’ve done for them and takes a moment to acknowledge your efforts. It’s nice, when you go out of your way for someone, and they recognize what you’ve done for them. Of course, this isn’t why we do kind things for other people, but it does make us feel warm and fuzzy.
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Try not to keep score.
Don’t keep a mental tally of what you’ve done for someone else and what they’ve done for you. Don’t try to make sure everything is even. It’s wasted energy and I can assure you, it never will be completely even. Instead, do whatever you plan on doing because you want to, not because you feel it’s your obligation. In a healthy relationship, both parties respect and appreciate one another and want what’s best for each other.
I’ve noticed the more I do for other people, the happier I am. It feels good to be pleasant and treat people decently. Not because I want something or have a hidden agenda, but because I want to be kind.
The world needs tolerant and kindhearted people. Good deeds inspire other good deeds and everyone benefits.
Try to mange your expectations, and when someone does something nice for you, take the time to let them know you appreciate it. Make sure they know you don’t take them granted and always look for ways you can help someone else.
Find meaning each day,
Check out this recent post: 4 Ways to Live a Life of Thanks