School’s Starting: A Letter To My Kids

 

School is starting, so I thought I’d write a letter to my kids. We can all use a little sarcasm in our day, right?

Dear Kids,

It’s hard to believe school is starting soon, but I though we should take this opportunity to go over a few things. Since it’s a new year, and you’ve had a busy summer, I wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page. No need for unnecessary arguments.

I want to start the year off on the right foot.

So, my dear children, here are a few simple thoughts, to get you into the school mood:

1.  When you come home, please feel free to leave your book bag, gym bag, and shoes in the hall or kitchen. The house will be clean by the time you get home, so messing it up again is fine. It will give me something to do tomorrow, when you’re at school. It makes the hours when you’re at school go by faster. If I can’t be with you, at least I can be with your mess.

2. Feel free to volunteer me for anything and everything. Especially before asking me if I mind. Of course I don’t mind. Making homemade treats, no problem. If they need a Mom to help in the library, make phone calls, or attend a field trip, of course, I’m their girl. Sign me up for anything and everything. And I really like helping plan school parties. Nothing says fun better than organizing the holiday party.

3.  I know you aren’t going to be in the mood to do homework. After all, you just went back to school. But that’s where I can really shine. I’m happy to help you do your homework. Especially the word problems. They’re my favorite. If you don’t feel like studying, bring it to me, and I’ll spoon feed you the information. I’ve got nothing but time. I’ll even make you a practice test, but only because I love you so much.

4. Haven’t done your summer reading. No problem. I’ll read the books for you, while you’re at school, and then summarize them for you when you get home. This will maximize our efficiency.  I’m sure your teachers won’t mind at all.  Nothing says FUN like the classics.

5. I’m happy to pack your lunch for you. Even if you don’t eat the lunch I pack. I don’t mind. It’s not a big deal for me to go to the store, spend money on expensive food, take the time to make your lunch, and then have you not eat it. I know it can be a real bummer to open your lunch and see something you “just aren’t in the mood for.”

6. I know it can be hard to decide what to wear to school. A girl always needs to look her best, and I fully understand this. Feel free to toss your clothes all over your room, and I’ll just go in behind you and hang everything up. I’ll put them away again, or even rewash them. Whatever’s easier for you.

7. If you leave anything at home, don’t think twice about calling or texting me. I’ll bring you whatever you need. I don’t mind stopping what I’m doing, taking the time to go home to fetch what you’ve forgotten, and driving it to you. I like to see how many times in a day I get to drive to your school. Maybe, I’ll stop by Starbucks and bring you a coffee. Just text me your order. And ask your friends what they want also.

8. Lastly, if I’m late picking you up from school, please text me immediately, and let me know. I don’t want to keep you waiting, not even for one second. I recognize your time is very valuable. It’s not like I’m doing anything important anyway. I’m also happy to take all of your friends home, or drive you anywhere you want to go. Just let me know when and where I need to be. And of course, there’s no need to ask me in advance. Nope. No need at all.

It’s going to be a great year, and I’m super excited to get started.

Oh, and let me know if you need more school supplies, incase the hundreds of dollars we spent weren’t enough. I’ll be sure to get on it.

Love,

Mom

P.S. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO OTHER MOMS AND DADS YOU KNOW…THEY MIGHT GET A GOOD LAUGH, AND WE CAN ALL USE A GOOD LAUGH…