Vacation is over and the summer is going by too quickly. Yesterday, we took Avi to camp, where she’ll be for three weeks.
We’ve definitely packed it in this summer, trying to suck every last enjoyable moment out of it.
So far, we’ve done a pretty good job.
But now, it’s time to reset and change what we’ve been doing.
We’ve gotten used to spending a lot of time together, and saying “goodbye” is never easy.
I kissed and hugged Avi goodbye, helped her set up her bed and unpacked her trunk, and told her to have the time of her life.
“I wish I didn’t love you so much,” Avi told me, “Then it wouldn’t hurt so much to say goodbye.”
Oh, how that makes me feel so special and breaks my heart all at once.
It’s just as hard for me to say “goodbye” to her, even though I know it’s for her own good. The growth she will have and the independence she will bring back after these three weeks away are invaluable. She has to learn that she can make it on her own, and I truly believe nothing does this better than summer camp.
It’s also not like she’s going to live with strangers in a far off land. She’s at a great camp, with one of her best friends, and will get to do activities she loves.
And while these reasons make me feel a little better, they don’t make it easier to say “goodbye.”
It’s hard to leave the people you love. I still cry sometimes when I leave my family after having a weekend visit. I know it should get easier for me, but it never has, and I expect that it never will.
“We’re lucky we love each other so much,” I said to Avi. I could tell she was doing her best to hold in the tears, and so was I.
“Sometimes it hurts to love,” I whispered into her ear.
This seemed to make sense to her, and she pushed me out the door. I knew it was time for me to leave her, and as soon as I did, she’d be fine. Jon and I made our way out of the cabin, into the car, I finally allowed the tears I was holding back to come out.
Just because I’m her Mom, doesn’t mean it’s any easier for me to leave her than it is for her to leave me. I took a deep breath as we drove out of the camp. “Three weeks isn’t such a long time,” I told Jon.
I was really trying to convince myself.
Find meaning each day,