I don’t know how our kids do it.

I’ve gone to school, and once was enough, thank you.

If I had to go back to high school now, I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t be able to get into college. Really.

And I’m sure I wouldn’t be a shining star if I had to go back to middle school. Those word problems can suck the life out of anyone.

Back in the day, when I was in school, things were quite different. I realize this was a LONG time ago, a very long time ago, but it’s crazy how many things have changed and how much we ask of our kids.

The work is hard, the quantity large, and the consequences, huge.

When I was in school, parent’s didn’t have the ability to go online and check their children’s grades, see the test or quiz schedule or know when a project was due. This meant our parents were basically clueless unless we shared with them what was going on. They think they were in the know, but compared to how much information parents have today, they weren’t.

And ignorance is bliss.

Too much information can actually be detrimental… and exhausting.

After going though the super fun year I had last year, I stopped micromanaging my kids school work. I decided to step back, and let go.

And it was VERY freeing.

This is the first year, since my kids started school, that I’ve completely given them the freedom to manage things without my help. I wish I had done it sooner! I recognize they are finally at an age where this is appropriate: middle school and high school, but I should have done it earlier. MUCH earlier.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve looked at their grades this year, and the same goes for their test schedules. Before the big C, I was definitely micromanaging their academic work. I could recite their test schedules and current grades. When they got an “A” on a test, I felt like I had earned an “A.” After all, I had helped them study, and maybe even taken the time to make a practice test for them.

Seriously.

But I’m done with that.

Because they aren’t my grades.

I’ve gone to school. And once was quite enough, thank you very much.

We’ve given our kids the tools they need to be successful. The rest is up to them. We are there to support them, always, but it’s up to them to decide how much time and effort they’re willing to put into their work.

They know the consequences.

A funny thing happened when I gave up control: my kids realized they could do it without me, and do it well. They aren’t perfect, and we don’t expect them to be. I’m a big believer in having a balanced life, and I think each of my children has a good balance. They love school, enjoy learning, and are obtaining the skills they need to be successful one day when they go to college.

And I know whatever college they go to will be the right one for them. It might not be the BEST college, but it will be the BEST for them, and that’s really all that matters. We aren’t trying to impress anyone but ourselves.

If you’re holding on tightly to the academic reigns of your kids, and they’re old enough, I encourage you to let go a little. It’s good for them, and you. It’s amazing how much time I found I had once I stopped having to “study.” Trust your kids, and give them the freedom to take care of their own work. It’s true, sometimes they might not do as well as they would have if you’d been involved, but this is how they learn.

And grow.

And if you have younger kids, and need to still help them, don’t feel badly when you can’t do the word problems.

Find meaning each day,

Dara