Jon and I don’t usually exchange holiday gifts.

In the past, we’ve done many variations of this. Sometimes there’s an item we both want for our house, and we “get it for each other.” Other years, we’ve simply said, “We don’t need anything, lets not buy presents for each other.” There isn’t anything either of us needs or really wants, and we don’t want to waste money purchasing something just to have a gift to give.

I’m fine with this, and so is Jon. It’s never been an issue, in the twenty plus years we’ve been together. If there’s something I want, I usually buy it for myself, and he would say the same thing.

I was shocked when, recently in the car, Jon turned to me and said, “Mommy, if a gift comes for me from Amazon, from the girls, it’s a gift for me.” Here he goes again, calling me “Mommy.” I always know, when he does this, that it’s being followed by something he doesn’t think I’ll take well. He tries to soften it by first saying “Mommy.”

It usually works.

“What?” I asked, “You bought yourself something from Amazon, and had it sent as a gift from the kids?”

“Maybe,” Jon answered with a smile on his face.

I don’t care what he buys for himself, and he would say the same about my spending habits. Neither of us goes crazy. It’s not like we don’t order online from Amazon ALL THE TIME.

“How much did you spend?” I asked.

“Around fifty dollar.”

Price wasn’t the issue. But, there was definitely something he didn’t want me to know. I was saying anything that came to my mind, just throwing things out. It was fun.

“Did you have your gift wrapped?” I asked him. I was being sarcastic and didn’t really expect an answer.

“Yep,” Jon said, “For three dollars it comes wrapped with a card.”

“You paid three dollars to have it wrapped? Did you fill out the card?” I was enjoying this a little too much.

“Yes,” Jon answered laughing, “And they wrote the sweetest card to me.”

Oh Lord. Jon is sending himself gifts and cards. Maybe, just maybe, he wants to be given presents this year. When I asked him this, he shrugged it off and shook his head, “no.”

I don’t believe him. I think he really wants fun surprises to open and sweet cards to read, all from the people who love him the most. I guess I have some work to do.

Find meaning each day,

Dara

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