I’m not sure what the deal is lately, but it seems like every time I’m with a group of women, somehow we start talking about our bathroom business.

Charming, I know.

Maybe it’s our age, but it seems like a lot of women are struggling in this area. Fortunately, I don’t have any problems with this, and I usually just sit back and listen to my friends complain.

It doesn’t sound pleasant.

I must admit, though, I have one little issue when it comes to my business: I can’t go in public. I know, get a real problem, right? I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t do it.

In fact, I’ve even gone out of my way to drive home before, if the urge hit, and I wasn’t in the privacy of my own bathroom.

Inconvenient? Yes. Crazy? Absolutely. Necessary? You bet!

But in the rare times that I don’t have a choice, and MUST go in public, I’ve been known to carry matches in my purse, to prevent others from being forced to experience my personal business. What can I say? I’m thoughtful.

Which brings me to an unfortunate incident.

I was downtown, in a meeting, and nature called. Yep, I had no choice but to suck it up, and deal with it. I decided to go downstairs to the lobby, and use the public bathroom located there.

I toilet papered the seat, as anyone should do in a public restroom, and sat down to do my business. I also lit a match. Just part of my  “in a public setting” ritual.

But an unfortunate thing happened.

The match broke, and the lighted tip dropped between my legs, causing the toilet paper between my legs to catch on fire.

FIRE!

WHILE I WAS STILL GOING!!

Thank goodness I have quick instincts, because I got up, and pushed the paper into the toilet.

I always knew I had above average talents.

But the damage had been done.

My hair was burned. Yes, the hair down there. And the bathroom smelled like seared flesh.

My hands were shaking from this very unfortunate turn of events, and I quickly got out of there as soon as I could. I was petrified the fire alarm would go off.

With trembling hands, I made it back to the meeting.

It wasn’t until later, when I was back at home, that I was able to inspect the situation. After a quick exam, I was relieved to see it was just a light burn on each of my thighs. I wouldn’t need medical attention.

But I learned my lesson. I now carry perfume samples in my purse, to prevent causing any physical harm to myself and others, and I recommend you do the same thing.

So for those of you interested in my “personal business,” here is the real “poop”.

Find meaning each day,

Dara