I could feel her eyes on me. Looking me over, glancing at my baseball cap, my exercise outfit, and lack of makeup. I knew I wasn’t looking my best, but truth be told, I’d had a hectic morning. I was lucky to actually be in real clothes instead of wearing my robe. Screw being perfect, I thought.

I was just trying to run into the grocery store, purchase a quick item, and then go home and exercise. I didn’t want to see anyone, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be seen. But, I really needed to get dishwasher detergent. Badly. The dishes were starting to pile up, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

On the other hand, she was wearing an adorable outfit. Not black leggings or exercise clothes. Real clothing. She had on full makeup and her hair had that “just washed” look to it. Dear Lord, it was only 8:30AM. What time did she have to get up to get that done? And, her kid had on clean clothing and was smiling happily. Clean clothing. At 8:30 AM. And he was HAPPY.

She glanced my way, and gave me a half smile laced with pity. Pity. She was feeling sorry for me.

I didn’t care though. In fact, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. You see, that used to be me. I used to care about what other people thought of me. In fact, I spent a lot of time and energy making sure I was pretty well put together. But, that was before the chemo. Before I lost my hair.  Before I was forced to look into the mirror and not recognize myself.

Screw being perfect.

After going through something like that, you change. And change I did. For the most part, now, I don’t care what other people think anymore. I only care about what I think. Sure, I have my moments. Especially, when it comes to my hair. Which, I might point out, is looking cute again.

Don’t judge other people by the way they look on the outside. You never know what someone’s going through or what they’re dealing with. You will also miss the opportunity to befriend some pretty amazing people.

And let go of trying to be perfect.

It’s not worth the time and energy, and it’s exhausting.

Just be yourself. It’s enough.

Find meaning each day,

Dara